The Epitome of Want and Need

Thursday, July 28, 2011

[caption id="attachment_601" align="aligncenter" width="480" caption="Cat today as an Indian Romance Guru (photo by Neilo Bandelaria)"][/caption]

I want you to know something, but I don't want to tell you, so im going to let the first 3 words of this explain it.

What does it mean to want or need something? Doesn't it sound more romantic to need rather than to want someone?

You can want something and not need it. But in most cases, a person may feel the necessity of what he or she wants. Sometimes, a person may also need someone but he or she may deny that he or she does because we don't want that someone. Or we don't feel the attraction. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish want from need. Want and need may even have several sub-levels, creating such gray areas for everyone else to be a lot more confused.

When we feel like we want someone, we create a space in our lives that can only be filled by this certain person. It's like when we find something in someone, that we don't see in most people. We create a certain profile that can only be filled by a certain characteristic or attitude, or physical attribute.

When this hole remains unfilled, there's that search within us that (although sometimes, unconsciously...) looks for someone who matches the profile we have created, or maybe even search for a complete opposite. But the latter almost never happens since you've already developed a want for certain characteristics (and old habits die hard). Unless of course, you get traumatized or something.

When we need someone is when we undoubtedly believe that there is no one on earth who could possibly substitute this person. It's when we create a certain hole in us that can only be filled by a certain DNA, or fingerprint or tongue pattern, or voice, or unique spiritual/emotional/romantic behavior.

Needing someone shows so much attraction in unique attributes because it singles out the person from the rest of the creatures of the entire universe. No one is exactly the same, therefore it's legit that you need this person. Although it's easy to say that we want or need someone, it's probably best we also understand what it means.

Sometimes, when you say you need someone, it can also come of as unromantic and can make you seem like a user.

It's like when you say you want someone to go with you to the concert because you want company but you may also go on your own, and there's when you need someone to go with you to a concert because you can't get in concert grounds without him or her.

That's a very physical and greedy kind of need.

I think the real romantic in me will have to say that love is the perfect collision of need and want. It's like saying, "You complete me. You are my want and need." And the merge of these two words (or word of the day: portmanteau), create so much love and emotion that it explodes (and makes babies... I'm kidding...sort of).

Loving someone is definitely complicated. If you think distinguishing want and need are hard enough, try the thin line between those two and love (and obsession).

Well that's it for me rambling though. Hahaha. Someone sponsor me or give me something to review so I can write about something legitimately interesting and meaningful please. Hahaha. I'm serious.


  1. "What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction." - Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

    Great post. :)

  2. Spot on quote, JC! Thanks for reading! :)