I don't know, maybe it's my reaction to being absolutely tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally tired of everything that and anyone who has ever let me down and said that I wasn't worth it. I'm also tired of the straining commute, the constant pressure, and the headaches I get from God knows where.
Have you ever been tired?
Tired that you feel like you've lost all hope and you know you're on the brink of giving up. Where the only place safe is in the chambers of your mind and the only thing that understands is your heart trying to tell you it's okay. It's okay. It's going to be fine.
Sometimes, it's not.
I can't always be what other people expect me to be, and that's alright by me but was never alright with you. You have taught me to do the impossible: to be afraid of shedding my own tears because you say it makes me weak, to be scared of exploring the world alone because you say it makes me selfish and/or a loner. There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. I am not the latter, but you always try to make it appear as if those two things are one and the same.
Just because you can't understand something, it doesn't mean it's wrong.
God, please give me the strength to keep going.